1. Sleep until midnight and touch your side. Gee, my husband has disappeared ……….
Get up and look around …
Oh, you damn fool, it turned out that he was sitting in the living room watching TV in the dark ……….
So I threw a coquettish hand around his neck from behind and said, honey, I want to …
As a result, I looked down and found that my father-in-law looked at me with an incredible face …………..
2. One day, the master asked Xiong Haizi: What is your dream lover like?
The youth said: Did you ask before or now?
The master said: Before. Young people say: fair-skinned, intellectual, sociable, wearing a long white dress, long shawl and big waves.
The master said: What about now? Young people say: fair-skinned, intelligent and sociable, avoid condoms, wear a long white dress, long shawl and big waves.
Recently, I read on the Internet that washing your face with salt can exfoliate, so I took a bag of salt into the toilet this morning to try it.
Roommate saw it and sighed: "Why, the shit is not salty enough!" .
4. I took a buddy from my dormitory to play at home and met my dad at the door, so I introduced him: "This is my dad. 」
Who knows, that buddy didn’t know what was going on, and his brain was pumping, and he also let out a cry: "Dad. 」
My dad paused, sighed, touched my head and said, "Son, you have grown up. Dad respects your decision, as long as you are happy. 」
5. I was reading in bed yesterday, and I heard the gentle voice of the man next door: Baby be good, go to sleep quickly, and dad will sing to you. Just as I was about to listen to the lullaby next door, the man’s voice said, Get up, people who don’t want to be slaves. . . . Accompanied by the cry of the baby and the roar of the woman. …..
6. I had a fight with my husband in bed yesterday, but he hit him.
After a crunchy bang, he was really in pain, and he ignored me if he didn’t talk about living.
I coaxed him with guilt and ignored me. When I was in a hurry, I hit myself.
Hearing the sound, he actually cried, crying and saying, "Who told you to hit my daughter-in-law?"
Helpless at the same time, I feel that it is good to have a husband like this!
7. In those days, we walked quietly on the path of our hometown, and you hung your head shyly. When the villagers saw us, we all praised you: Hey, it’s beautiful and clean! Also praised me: good boy, come out to release pigs at such a young age! !
8. Today, the class flower in our class dumped the most gentle, easy-to-learn and kind-hearted boy in our class just because he was idle and poor. Invite the cheapest KFC or something for every date. He is very sad. By the way, that boy is nice! Everyone regards him as a brother. That night, a group of boys were going to buy him a drink, but he couldn’t. His father came to school to pick him up for dinner at BLBLBLBLBLBL, and then we watched him get on the Ferrari 458.
9. Two masters in love talk about their understanding of women.
A: "This handkerchief smells like roses. It’s beautiful!"
B: "This handkerchief, sweet-scented osmanthus, is beautiful!"
A: "This handkerchief smells like cologne and is icy!"
B: "This handkerchief smells like chopped green onion, belonging to the aunt in the canteen!" "
10. Diary
May 31st.
Today, Uncle Wang came to my house to play with my mother, saying that I could have snacks after I finished my homework. Then, Uncle Wang praised me for doing my homework well, so he picked up my mother, who told my uncle to be careful, and then my uncle kissed my mother and me.
Xiao Ming
Teacher’s reply: Take it home and let your father see if there is something wrong with punctuation or uncle Wang and your mother.
The teacher wishes you a happy 6.1!
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