标签归档 武汉夜生活论坛

　　The canteen on the construction site is full of laughter.

　　Our reporter Jiang Bo

　　February 11th, Lunar New Year’s Eve. In the dining hall of Longtan River Crossing Project Department of China Railway Bridge Bureau Group, which is located at the boundary between Nanjing Section and Zhenyang Section of the Yangtze River, red lanterns are hung high, paper-cut window grilles and Chinese knots are full of joy, and the taste of the year is strong.

　　"Comrades, New Year’s Eve, have a New Year’s Eve dinner!" Standing at the entrance of the canteen, Du Zhongning, deputy secretary of the Party branch of the project, greeted the workers with a big smile and piled oranges and sweets on the table.

　　"I count, 46 workers who celebrate the New Year on the spot. Today, one can’t be less. I have two cups, and I am a lesbian. I have a gift package to send after dinner." The joy of Chinese New Year is permeated with Du Zhongning’s face.

　　In the kitchen, Chen Shuhao, a 24-year-old boy from anniversary, Heilongjiang Province, is holding his sleeves and cooking a famous northeast dish. "In my hometown, this dish must be eaten during the New Year. This time, so many workers celebrate the New Year on the spot, I must show my hand and let them all taste it. "

　　Among the 46 workers who celebrate the New Year on the spot, there are not only young builders born after 1995, but also old workers who have struggled for the construction of the motherland all their lives. Facing the severe and complicated epidemic prevention and control situation, celebrating the New Year on the spot has become their common choice.

　　Shi Zhong, a 50-year-old quality inspector, has worked in the front line for 30 years and has participated in many national key projects such as Lanzhou-Xinjiang Railway. Recalling the number of reunions with his family during the Spring Festival, he said with a smile: "It is a luxury to follow the project and go home for the New Year. I feel very embarrassed in my heart, so I took my children to the construction site this year, which is a reunion with my family. "

　　In the evening, there are already thousands of lights outside the window, and the workers in the house are sitting around and laughing. In the first Spring Festival under the normalization of epidemic prevention and control, they made different choices for the project to be completed as scheduled.

　　Peace is the greatest blessing.

　　Our reporter Tong Zheng

　　The New Year’s Eve dinner is a taste that countless people in China yearn for, and it is also the biggest wish of everyone who works hard outside during the New Year. However, at an unusual time, relatives in different places, they ate a different kind of reunion dinner here.

　　"Happy Chinese New Year!" "Good luck in the Year of the Ox!" "All the best!" ….. On the eve of the Spring Festival, at the construction site of Shuitangjiang Project in Nanning, the left-behind employees of Guangxi Company of China Construction Fifth Bureau held Spring Festival couplets to pay New Year greetings to their relatives, workers and people all over the country.

　　In order to let the left-behind employees have a good New Year, the company has set up five tables of rich reunion dinner in Sashido, a project department of less than 70 square meters, which is full of flavor. "The most famous thing in my hometown is Hu Spicy Soup. The canteen of the project department specially prepared our own hometown specialties for us, so that we can enjoy the taste of our hometown and be as warm as at home during the New Year’s holiday at the construction site." He Jie, an employee who lives in the field, said happily.

　　Qian Jinlong is a new employee of the Shuitangjiang project in Nanning. His hometown is Yiyang, Hunan. In response to the local New Year initiative, he stayed in Nanning this Spring Festival. "I have a long way to go home, and I have to change to a variety of means of transportation, and the contact personnel are complicated. In the special period of epidemic prevention and control, reducing going out is to support anti-epidemic. " After Qian Jinlong told his parents about his decision, their parents expressed their understanding that their only concern was the dining problem during the Spring Festival. "After learning that the project department provides a reunion dinner for employees who spend the New Year on the spot, parents are relieved a lot." Qian Jinlong said that this year, he will pay a New Year call to his parents through video, and then go home after the spring blossoms.

　　Luo Zhiqiang, vice chairman of the trade union of Guangxi Company of China Construction Fifth Bureau, said that the company actively responded to the call of the country "Don’t go home unless necessary, spend the New Year on the spot", and implemented caring measures such as keeping people careful, considerate and warm-hearted, so that employees who stayed in other places for the New Year felt the warmth of home and the taste of the New Year was not discounted.

　　"Although we are in a foreign land, we hang lanterns together and spend the New Year together. This festive atmosphere warms our hearts." Worker Luo Cheng said.

　　The sixth family portrait

　　Our reporter Ma Weiwei.

　　For many people, New Year’s Eve means family reunion, laughter and happiness. But for Wu Tiecheng and many of his colleagues, the New Year’s Eve dinner had to be arranged on the train.

　　Wu Tiecheng, 43, is the conductor of the Z18 train. At 4: 30 pm on February 11th, the reporter came to Harbin Depot and saw Wutie City. He told reporters that he had spent six consecutive Spring Festival on the Z18 train.

　　While working, Wu Tiecheng took out his mobile phone and showed it to reporters. It turned out that there were five family photos in his mobile phone, which were taken by their team during the Spring Festival on the train for five consecutive years.

　　Originally, it was a hard-won Spring Festival break, but because of the epidemic, Harbin Company of China Railway Group adjusted the route map, and Wutie City set out with the team ready.

　　While speaking, the train slowly set off for Harbin West Station. At this time, the train began to officially supply power, and everyone quickly arranged the carriages. Zhang Songyu, a flight attendant, carefully posted the blessing. Li Ling Yunhe and Xia Xinyao picked up a string of red lanterns and hung them on the window. However, the happiest thing is a few male flight attendants, who excitedly surrounded the chef and inquired about the "hard dishes" of the New Year’s Eve dinner.

　　In a blink of an eye, the train stopped at Harbin West Station. In order to comply with the epidemic prevention regulations, the reporter regretted that he could not go with the car, so he said goodbye to everyone here. Soon after returning home, I received a video call from Wu Tiecheng: "Look, Pony, this is our chef preparing a New Year’s Eve dinner. There are eight dishes in total, including fish, ribs, chicken and beef, and two vegetables. We will have a small get-together later."

　　Late at night, Wu Tiecheng called the reporter again by video phone to watch their get-together together together. In the video, everyone is happily sitting in the dining car, and flight attendant Song Lijun is singing and winning applause from colleagues. In front of the camera, after the New Year’s Eve, everyone gathered together, smiled at the camera and took the sixth family photo.

　　Chichu hometown flavor

　　Our reporter Wang Jinhu.

　　During the Spring Festival, the demand for coal for power supply and heating soared. In order to let more people reunite with their families warmly, many employees of Shandong Energy Group choose to celebrate the New Year on the spot and stick to their holiday posts. What’s the taste of their reunion dinner this year?

　　Li Zihao, from Huaibei, Anhui, had a reunion dinner at the home of Master Meng Linglong. Last year, Li Zihao joined the Tieyun Department of Yanzhou Coal Industry of Shandong Energy Group and studied under Meng Linglong. Master Meng told the reporter: "The company asked us to’ treat the disciples like children’ and go home to discuss with our wives. On New Year’s Eve, we simply took our children home for a reunion dinner." On the reunion dinner table, my wife specially prepared the best fried crispy vegetables. After the reunion dinner, the master and apprentice rushed to Dadongzhang Station of Yanzhou Coal Industry to watch the night shift and carry out the task of transporting coal to Huadian Zouxian Power Plant.

　　Chen Delin, a technician of Tangkou Coal Industry Development Zone 1 in Shannengzi Mine, is from Chongqing, and this year is his first New Year holiday in other places. What he didn’t expect was that at the New Year’s Eve dinner specially prepared by the company for the left-behind workers, he actually tasted the authentic hometown flavor: "Sweet and sour, crisp and delicious, this crispy pork slice is authentic!"

　　The miners’ reunion dinner has its own taste, but there is a common taste, that is, the taste of hometown.

　　Author: Jiang Bo Tong Zheng Ma Weiwei Wang Jinhu

Source: Economic Daily

In clinical psychological counseling, couples or couples often encounter the problem of separation. The more you consult these questions, the more you can find that there is a natural conflict between love and distance. If we don’t handle it carefully, the probability of love losing to distance is still quite large. Therefore, whether it is a couple in love or an old couple who have been married for many years, it is a problem that we need to face up to and pay attention to.

The following analysis and suggestions can also provide reference for the situation that the family cannot be taken care of for some reasons.

Whether it’s a couple in love or an old couple who have been married for many years, being away from home is a problem that we need to face up to and pay attention to; Image from the network)

Why distance

Have such a great influence on love?

Speaking of this question, I have to talk about three essential elements of perfect love: intimacy, passion and commitment. The three elements of love were put forward by Robert Robert Jeffrey Sternberg, a professor of psychology at Yale University. He pointed out that different stages and types of love can be interpreted as different combinations of these three elements. For example, with the development of two people’s romantic relationship, the focus of each component will change. For example, there will be more passion at first, but gradually, commitment will become more important. Robert Jeffrey Sternberg also found that the duration of a relationship based on a single factor is not as long as that based on two or three factors.

Three elements of love: intimacy, passion and commitment; The size of the triangle indicates the degree of admiration, and the larger the triangle, the higher the degree of admiration; Each horn represents a unique type of love; Different combinations form seven different types of love; Image from the network)

Usually, the intimate relationship with the longest persistence and the highest satisfaction is obtained by the efforts of both partners to maintain intimacy and enhance their sense of responsibility.

In a long-distance relationship, intimacy is easily affected. Sometimes what can be solved by a hug leads to misunderstandings and the accumulation of negative emotions because of the obstacles of emotional expression.

Coupled with the cumulative effect of different living environments and different social circles, over time, it is likely that two people will have less and less common language and it will become more and more difficult to understand each other.

What is even more frightening is that it will wear away trust. There are many uncertain factors for two people who live in different places for a long time, such as a message or phone call that can’t be answered in time, a photo taken with other members of the opposite sex, a lie that hides their whereabouts, and so on, which may lead to the collapse of trust.

Therefore, the lack of intimacy is the key reason why many long-distance relationships lose to distance and time.

Lack of intimacy is the key reason why many long-distance relationships lose to distance and time; Image from the network)

How to overcome the troubles in different places?

Then how can we overcome the unfavorable factors brought by different places and maintain a harmonious and long-lasting relationship? We suggest that couples or couples who are experiencing the test in different places need to do the following work:

First, learn to communicate deeply and build a building of trust.

The hardest part to deal with in different places is communication. Many people think that communication mainly depends on language, but in actual communication, the influence of language information is very small, accounting for only about 7%, and tone, facial expression and body account for 93%. Therefore, when two people communicate in different places, it is impossible to fully understand each other’s emotional state, even if it is a video, it lacks the participation of touch and smell, and it is impossible to achieve a comprehensive experience. Therefore, it is very important to improve the depth and efficiency of communication.

For communication in different places, we suggest that the big principle is "report every day, learn to share, and don’t have a cold war".

(The principle of communication in different places: report every day, learn to share, and never have a cold war; Image from the network)

Many couples in different places are busy at work, so it may be unrealistic to report from time to time, but it may become a burden to each other. However, it is necessary to give a brief report every day, especially for men. Before going to bed, they should briefly talk about their day’s situation and the next day’s arrangements, voice messages or short calls. With such a habit, mutual trust will be enhanced.

By sharing your own life, you can let each other know about your living environment and dynamics and enhance each other’s sense of security.

But no matter how good two people are, conflicts are inevitable. Quarrel is not terrible, but couples in different places should not use the cold war to deal with conflicts.

Second, strengthen the sense of ceremony, and farewell is better than marriage.

The preservation of two people’s love needs a sense of ceremony, and it is more urgent for both parties in different places to achieve the state of "a little farewell is better than a new marriage" by strengthening the sense of ceremony.

We can strengthen the sense of ritual in getting along from two aspects, one is to make rules, and the other is to create romance.

You can strengthen the sense of ritual in getting along in two ways: making rules and creating romance; Image from the network)

At the beginning of different places, it is necessary to make some rules to ensure the constant love interaction between two people. For example, talk every day, say good night to each other every day, and make regular video calls; Regarding communication, we must speak out if there are contradictions, instead of holding them in our hearts and fighting for the night; Regarding trust, no matter how busy you are, you should explain it in advance and share it briefly, and you must explain the unexpected situation afterwards. These agreements will subconsciously make us cherish our feelings and make the feelings in different places more stable.

In creating romance, many couples, especially girls, need to feel loved, so don’t ignore each other’s needs and set aside time to take care of her emotions and express their feelings. Properly expressing your thoughts and love for each other can make each other feel cared for. You can also often create some surprises for each other, such as writing a few love words to each other and singing a love song to each other. If you travel frequently, when you meet again, you should buy some carefully selected gifts for the other party, such as what the other party mentioned to you, to let the other party know that you are thinking about her at any time, so as to achieve the effect that parting is better than getting married.

Third, create romantic expectations and give full play to the power of commitment.

For a long-distance relationship, commitment is an important driving force for each other to overcome the current difficulties. If there is no expectation for the future, it is difficult for two people to resist the suffering of loneliness and missing. Therefore, when you are in a different place, you must increase the chances of meeting as much as possible, and before each separation, you can start to create the expectation of meeting next time, and try to be specific and look forward to it together. For example, "Let’s meet in a month, and I’ll cook you a big seafood dinner, so that you can taste my loving cooking skills.".

(When you are in a different place, you must increase the chances of meeting as much as possible, and before each separation, you can start to create the expectation of meeting next time, try to be specific and look forward to it together, but don’t break your promise; Image from the network)

Expectation can be divided into short-term goals and long-term goals.

Short-term goals can be aimed at mutual interests, such as traveling together, shopping together, climbing mountains together, watching movies together, etc. You can make a detailed plan, work together and implement it one by one, so that more connections can be built.

Don’t break your promise, if it doesn’t come true, and blame each other, the balance of your emotional savings account will be less and less.

The long-term goal is about the expectations of being together in the future. Couples in love can look forward to the wedding picture together, how romantic the wedding is, how exquisite the home decoration is, and how interesting the future life will be. For example, "When we get married in the future, we must raise a lovely kitten at home and have a particularly lovely child. I will take pictures of you, the kitten and the child, and I will be very happy when I think about it."

For married couples, how to solve the problem of separation between the two places is a very realistic topic. The other party may understand the needs of temporary career development, but if career development is always put above the needs of the other party, the probability of emotional problems is still very high if two people get together for a long time, so it is necessary to take care of how long to solve the problem in different places and how to make up for each other’s feelings, and give a promise to make the other party really feel at ease.

This paper is adapted from Intimate Relationship Management —— How to Deal with Conflicts in Intimate Relationship Rationally.

If you have other questions about marriage or physical and mental health, please feel free to give us feedback, and we will choose appropriate topics to answer questions on popular science.

Contribution/Publicity Department of Public Security Department

Editor/Seagull

Original title: "Better Police Body and Mind | How to Keep Love from Losing to Distance"

Read the original text